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Talking to Friends about Vaping, Drugs, and Alcohol

1/6/2025

 
Advice from Teens for Tomorrow members on what to do if a friend tells you they are using substances

Q: How do you respond if a friend shares that they’re using substances? 
Answers: 
“Be compassionate and nonjudgmental.” 
“Natural conversation pace.”
“Be a good listener.”
“Don’t be too intrusive, just enough.”
“Encourage”
“I think it’s good to hear their full story before talking, and take their feelings into consideration.”
“Increase self-esteem”
“Make sure they are safe”
“Help them realize they may need help.”
“Know resources that you can recommend”
Say, “I want to be there for you.”

Q: What are some qualities you'd look for in a friend if you wanted to share something sensitive? (These are ways you can show up for your friend.)
Answers:

“Good listener”
“Trustworthy and non-judgemental”
“Makes me feel safe and comforted”
“Loyalty, privacy/confidentiality, trust, empathy”
“Able to keep privacy, listens to me, and doesn’t change the subject onto them”

Q: Instead of (this), try (that)
Answers: 
 - Instead of questioning or interrogating them, try to let them set the pace and tone of the conversation. 
 - Instead of blaming them, or saying “it’s your own fault,” try to be understanding and put yourself in their shoes.
 - Instead of saying things like “everything will be okay,” try to validate their experience (for example, you can say something like “that sounds really tough”).
 - Instead of comparing yourself to them, or comparing problems, try to let them share their experiences without judgment.
 - Instead of joking about past trauma, try to let them set the tone for any humor.
 - Instead of making it about yourself and how you feel, try to let the focus stay on them.
 - Instead of pushing for more info or sensitive details, try to move on if they seem uncomfortable or like they don’t want to share. 
 - Instead of saying things like “brush it off,” or “suck it up,” try asking how they’re feeling and if they know their next steps.
 - Instead of gossiping or sharing things to other people that they’ve told you in confidence, respect their privacy - but share with an adult if you need to.

Q: What are some specific things you can say and do?
Answers: 

Ask them how they’re doing. 
Let them know that quitting is a good decision to make. 
“I am glad you told me this and thank you for telling me.”
Support and check up from time to time.
Ask what would be best for them.
Talk in a safe and quiet place.
“I care for you/ I love you.”
“I’m really sorry that’s happening.”
LEt them know you’re not judging them, but caring for them.
Provide alternatives, something to do
“I know it’s a hard decision to make, and I am happy you’ve decided to stop.”
Share things you admire about them. 
Ask how you can help. 
Give resources and recommend what to do next. 


When and How to share with an adult:
“If they talk about hurting themselves or other people, it gets out of your reach.”

When to share: 
  • If anyone is at risk of hurting themselves or others
  • If anyone has been abused or neglected
  • If anyone is at risk of being abused or neglected

How to share: 
  • Encourage them to go to an adult themselves; for example, “I think that you should talk with someone more experienced.”
  • Offer to go with them for support
  • Try to choose an adult your friend would feel safe with


Setting boundaries:
Boundaries are your own personal ground rules that keep you safe and healthy.
  1. Check in with yourself about your needs: what do you need in order to stay mentally and physically healthy?
  2. Decide on what your personal rules (aka boundaries) are that will help you make sure your needs are met. 
  3. Your friends can’t respect your boundaries until they know what they are, so let your friends know!
  4. Check in with yourself again often to make sure your boundaries are still in place and still helping you in the ways that you need.

Some examples of boundaries:
  • “I keep my phone on ‘do not disturb’ at night, so if you need support after bedtime, make sure to reach out to [xyz].”
  • “I’m comfortable talking about almost anything except for [topic] and [topic]. If you need to talk about those things, that's okay, but I’m just not the right person to help.”
  • “I’m happy to talk as long as I’m not the only person who knows. I’m not comfortable being anyone’s only source of support.”


Things to remember
  • It’s important to take care of yourself before and after supporting others.
  • Don’t beat yourself up over not being able to give advice - it’s okay to not know the answers.
  • They came to you for a reason, they trust you. Be yourself.
  • It’s okay to not know what to say. No one is alone in their communication struggles - whether you’re reaching out for help, or if youre the one helping. 
  • It’s okay if you’re not in the right headspace to support someone else. You have your own life too. Be honest with them if you’re not in a place where you can support them, and suggest other supports for them (like TeenTalk - see resource at the end). 
  • Take breaks and make sure you have mental health days. 
  • If you start feeling burdened or stressed about supporting your friend, that’s a sign you may need to set some boundaries.


For more resources and information, check out our resources page or head over to the Clark County Teen Talk website. 

The content for this blog post was written by the 2023-2024 members of Teens for Tomorrow. If you or a friend are in a serious situation and you don't know what to do, we encourage you to talk to a trusted adult. You can also text or call 988 at any time to be connected to a trained counselor who can help you with substance use concerns, mental health crises, or any kind of emotional distress. To learn more about the 988 Lifeline, check out their website here. 

The Effects of Vaping

10/11/2024

 
By Shreya

​In my school, vaping is a huge problem. When I was nearing the end of my elementary school years, some middle school friends would tell me stories about kids huddled up in the big stall of the bathroom, taking turns vaping. When I heard those stories, I thought of them as uncommon scenarios that my friends happened to see. But now that I am a seventh grader, I see the horrifying truth of how common and easy it is for middle school students to get vapes. It's even worse when someone you know tells you they are vaping. Getting caught vaping is a suspendable offense at best; at worst, you could be expelled. What are you supposed to do about it? Tell the teacher that one of your friends is vaping and maybe get them expelled and ruin their life? Or perhaps you could gently try to fix the problem yourself, but what if something goes wrong and you lose a friend because they don’t get why you are trying to tell them what to do, and they still continue vaping? But if you don’t do anything about it and something goes wrong in your friend's life, wouldn't that guilty feeling eat you up inside?

When I saw the advertisement for Teens For Tomorrow (TFT), a drug and substance use prevention program in Clark County, on my school's bulletin board, I knew I had to join. Being part of TFT has shown me vaping isn’t just a problem in my school; it's a problem for the whole county, as shown in this article https://www.columbian.com/news/2023/nov/02/. Yes, this article shows that the use of vapes and e-cigarettes has dropped among high schoolers. Still, it also states that the use for middle schoolers has stayed the same, which means in the future, if these middle school students don’t stop vaping, they are going to show the incoming sixth graders that it's ok to vape, and soon vaping will rise again unless we stop the issue.
I aim to reduce this issue significantly in my community by starting clubs in schools tackling this issue and giving brief lessons to classes explaining the effects. Other organizations like TFT could lead these clubs until they are self-sufficient. I also think it would be beneficial to start educating kids as young as fourth grade about the effects of vaping so that when they come to middle school, they don’t fall into peer pressure and vape without knowing the side effects. Awareness is a big part of vape prevention. If kids aren’t aware of the consequences, there’s no way to stop them from vaping. The middle or high schoolers in this school could take field trips to elementary schools in their district and talk about the consequences of vaping. I will try to do my best through TFT to further this cause.

​

Helping the teens

3/29/2023

 
I'm here to help my fellow friends and students to get unstuck from e-cigarettes.
Hey everyone! My name is Maddison and I am a member of TFT, which stands for Teens For Tomorrow. In TFT we like to learn about resilience and how to build it up as a community. Every meeting we like to start off with learning something new about someone in the group. We love to encourage TFT members to speak up for what they know and what they are hearing. I facilitate some of the activities we do and they are not just for fun, they are for learning what we can do to change and help the community. Like I read an article about how 2.5 millions kids in the U.S. used e-cigarettes in 2022. That's a lot for kids to be doing that. Also, from 2017-2019 e-cigarettes used among high school students more then doubled to 27.5%. And that's what I'm here to help; I'm here to help my fellow friends and students to get unstuck from e-cigarettes. Having just about completing my first year, I am so excited for more exciting things TFT brings me too!

Compassion cards help!

3/29/2023

 
 So, what are compassion cards, you may be asking. Well, I'm here to answer that! Hi, I'm Leo a TFT member, and I helped to write some compassion cards for teens getting treatment for a substance use disorder! Seeking support can feel scary, especially for teens recovering from substance use. Compassion cards are something we made to help a set of teens out. Each of us got a card to decorate, and we wrote helpful and supportive messages on them! They were super cute, and they helped the teens out.

Now you may be thinking, 'well I want to write a card for someone in need!' And that's awesome! So, who should you give it to? Anyone! literally anyone who you thing would appreciate it. A friend, a family member, even just a random person you meet. A little compassion goes a long way in this world, and even a cute little card could be the difference between a good and bad day for someone.

Here's a great video we watched that can help you understand why language is important when it comes to supporting people who are recovering from substance use:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCf7jXHYSSI

Don't know where to start? Try this guide we used when we wrote our letters. Even though the guide is specific to youth in recovery, feel free to adapt it to make it work for you! 
Tips for writing letters of encouragement.pdf
File Size: 60 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

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Tips for writing letters of encouragement to youth seeking outpatient substance use treatment. For the tips, download the PDF.

Excruciating Vulnerability Workshop

1/11/2021

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The Idea Behind the Workshop
Hey everyone! My name is Kianne, and I am a member of Clark County TFT.  In TFT, we encourage all members to take part in facilitating or even creating their own workshops to share with others. During our annual fall training I was given the opportunity to create and facilitate this very workshop to my fellow TFT members. Having just completed my first year as a member, I was beyond excited to be given such an opportunity. I revisited my past year in the program and thought about the valuable lessons I had learned and found that the one that stood out the most was about vulnerability. Although we had never had a workshop specifically designed to address vulnerability, the culture and environment we had created amongst each other proved that our vulnerability had a great strength to it, even if we had not known it yet. After I came to this realization, I knew that vulnerability would be the perfect workshop to create and share. Now, I would love to share this with all of you and I hope you are able to implement and adapt it to fit into your own programs!

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Is TFT just for teens who are already passionate about drug prevention?

6/1/2020

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By: Kianne (4 year TFT member)


     Before my very first day of training with Clark County TFT Peer Education Program, I had never been a part of prevention before. I had never been in a setting where youth and adults were as passionate as they were about what they did (prevention). I didn’t know it included thousands of people from all across Washington State. Eventually, I learned what prevention is… and it is an abundant community of wonderful people. The purpose and goal of each individual is united by this idea of prevention, which is educating others on healthy coping skills, habits, and mindfulness in hopes of creating good habits for the future. Just learning about all of the wonderful opportunities I would have a chance to take part in while being a part of TFT is when I knew I wanted to be a part of prevention and that I wanted it to be a part of my future.

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Learning to Want Change and to A.S.A.P.: Always Strive and Prosper - A 17 year old’s Memoir

6/1/2020

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     I’ll start with a story: I was five years old when I was pulled in a red wagon to surgery. I was nervous and scared. I carried my rugged, Mickey Mouse plush toy and I was wrapped in warm, funky animal blankets.  I was in my pajamas and I was sleepy and didn’t know what was going on. My mother helped me change into a hospital gown. The room was cold. When the gurney appeared, my heart jumped. But I climbed aboard, the doctors started making car-like sounds, and I felt a little easier.

     After I was wheeled into another room, they put a large mask on my face and told me, softly, to count backwards from 10. When I woke, I was in a different room decorated with animal-print curtains. I felt cold, wet, and weak. My mom’s warmth held me up and the doctors gave me saltine crackers and a lot of liquids. I wasn’t feeling well but I did notice I could finally hear completely -- the beeping from the machines, my mother’s lullaby, and even her heartbeat. 

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The importance of youth voice in public policy

5/21/2020

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Youth voice can have a monumental impact on the way policymakers think. Day-to-day life has changed for our generation, and adults alone can’t make decisions that affect youth. Youth voice is important to share with lawmakers because youth are able to use their struggles to make the world a better place. We are the next generation that will be taking on this world. 

Today I want to tell you a personal story that inspired me to share my voice. When I was 14, my father left, and my life was turned upside down. I felt betrayed by the one person I felt I could trust, and I felt so insignificant. Why would anyone listen to me, if those that supposedly loved me couldn’t stick around? When I first heard about STASHA, I never knew the platform it would give me to find my voice when I thought it had been taken from me. Even today, I’m still learning and going through the motions every day. Whatever backgrounds and experiences you all come from, I want you to know that no one can ever take your voice from you.

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YOUth supporting YOUth.​


Our mission

We work to learn about substance use prevention among ourselves and other youth by:
  • exchanging knowledge and resources,
  • promoting mental health,
  • creating an inclusive, resilient community,
  • building and elevating youth leadership.

Our vision

The youth in Clark County are empowered to:
  • advocate for themselves and others,
  • build healthy coping skills,
  • create a resilient and connected community for our future.
  • Home
  • About Teens for Tomorrow
    • Meet Teens for Tomorrow
    • Our Toolkits
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