Excruciating Vulnerability Workshop

The Idea Behind the Workshop
Hey everyone! My name is Kianne, and I am a member of Clark County TFT.  In TFT, we encourage all members to take part in facilitating or even creating their own workshops to share with others. During our annual fall training I was given the opportunity to create and facilitate this very workshop to my fellow TFT members. Having just completed my first year as a member, I was beyond excited to be given such an opportunity. I revisited my past year in the program and thought about the valuable lessons I had learned and found that the one that stood out the most was about vulnerability. Although we had never had a workshop specifically designed to address vulnerability, the culture and environment we had created amongst each other proved that our vulnerability had a great strength to it, even if we had not known it yet. After I came to this realization, I knew that vulnerability would be the perfect workshop to create and share. Now, I would love to share this with all of you and I hope you are able to implement and adapt it to fit into your own programs!

Facilitation Notes
The name of this workshop is Excruciating Vulnerability and is heavily inspired/influenced by Brené Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability” TedTalk. Watching this would be a good reference for this workshop.

Pre-presentation Activity:
Before you begin to discuss vulnerability, start with an activity to engage the audience and encourage participation. Place a large poster onto the wall and write 
                “I am not _____ enough.”
Pass out a sticky note and pen to each audience member and encourage them to fill in the blank with their own answer, then place it on the wall. This activity can be anonymous and should be done by those comfortable to participate, anyone has the right to not take part. After the sticky notes are placed on the wall, briefly read over some examples you see on the wall, then ask and discuss these debriefing questions.

• How did it feel to put the sticky note on the board?
• Have you ever shared it with anyone else?
• Did you feel any restrictions?
• Looking at what other people wrote, would you change yours?

Proceed to discuss what you wrote and allow yourself to truly be seen.
This activity will be addressed once again later in the workshop. For now, we will continue moving forward with key points.


Key Points:
This portion of notes is to guide you in your discussion of vulnerability. Take from it what you feel is important and turn it all into your own voice! Your voice is powerful and this whole workshop is for you to explore your own vulnerability as well. When you need a reminder, use these notes to keep you on track.     

Brene Brown “The Power of Vulnerability”

• “What we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected is- neurobiologically that’s how we’re wired- it’s why we’re here.” (Brown)
• Shame is the fear of disconnection (Include a personal example here of a moment in your life where you felt ashamed to return somewhere or to reconnect with someone you had lost touch with, how did it make you feel?)

The Power of Shame and Fear…

• We all have shame/fear, it provides great strength.
• Without shame/fear you cannot have human empathy or connection
• No one wants to talk about shame/fear, but without talking about it you gain more shame and fear.
• When filled with shame, you may consider vulnerability as a bad but necessary thing, but it is in fact something voluntary and full of self-power.

​Wholeheartedness- Worthiness, strong sense of love and belonging.

• Courage: Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart, have the courage to be imperfect
• Compassion; To be kind to themselves first and then to others.
• Connection: Authenticity of who you truly are.

Vulnerability
    ASK:

• How would you define vulnerability?
• What makes you feel vulnerable?

Answer these questions for yourself and share with others to assist in gaining perspective and understanding on the topic.

    EXPLAIN:

• What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful :D
• The willingness to do something where there are no guarantees.
• You know who you are when you have the strength to ask for help.
• Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and worthiness feelings. It is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

​Am I alone?

• Many people numb vulnerability, and by doing that they numb the joy. Everyone suffers with vulnerability in their own way- fear is one of the most common emotions.
• Many people use blame as a way to discharge pain/discomfort.
• “We make the uncertain, certain” (in our heads with fear) (Brown)
• We try to perfect ourselves to hide from the truth.
• “You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” (Brown) 
• We cannot pretend anymore.

Four ways to change.

1. Let yourself be seen.
2. Love with your whole heart
3. Practice gratitude, lean into joy.
4. Believe that you are enough!

How does this relate to TFT? 
This may change based on the program or audience this workshop is used by. This is an example provided to discuss how it may relate to the everyday world. Here you can input how vulnerability relates to your own purpose.
For me, personally, TFT has become my second family and the youth house has become a safe space for me; so much so that last year during a meeting I shared with everyone that I was unhappy and had a deep sense of not being alright, and that I was planning on going to a therapist. This thing I shared was something I did not share with my closest friends and something I had to build up courage to admit. I do not know anyone’s personal lives, situations, and choices but what I do know is that everyone needs a safe place. Allowing myself to be vulnerable has helped me grow in my personal life as well as here today with all of you. None of us are here to judge, shame, or exclude anyone, we are all here to provide each other with a sense of love and belonging and the peers here that I have seen vulnerable, have fueled me with strength to be as brave as they were. We choose to be vulnerable to express who we are and do what humans do best, connect.

Post-presentation Activity
After going over the keynotes and topics, readdress the activity of the poster on the wall. Ask the participants:
           After discussing vulnerability, would anyone like to change their answers that they placed on the wall?
If anyone wants to, provide them with a new sticky note and paper and give them the opportunity to place it on the wall once again. After this is done, you may open the floor for anyone to explain why they changed their answers or what they changed them to (participation and comfort level is important to remember here). Once this discussion is over, invite a volunteer up to grab the paper and rip it up. (If no one volunteers, you can do this portion yourself).

Explain that the importance of this final piece is symbolic of letting go of the belief that they are not enough, letting go of the fear that may be blocking their lives, and opening up the power and possibility of excruciatingly beautiful vulnerability. 

Optional Ending Activity: Select an activity that allows people to share and be vulnerable.

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